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I would watch her get ready in the morning for work, traipsing around in her shiny bra, slip and pantyhose, satin panty line visibly creeping out of her slip, putting on lipstick standing in front of the bathroom mirror, and be so jealous. I would stare at her like a puppy. I would take notes of what she did and didn’t wear and the minute she hit the door I was right back into her panty drawer and immediately sliding into hose and slips. Fast forward to present day. It was never questioned when to do it. It was never questioned why I would do it. Not to me at least. I couldn’t control it. I just knew it felt so right. There I was, 20 years later, responding to an ad online for some fun. It started as chat. I put a picture of my shiny black satin crotch up as my avatar and was immediately hit on by a handsome older man. I love girls, I love being with girls, I really wish down deep that I was a girl to eliminate all the mental cruelty I put myself through regarding my role sexually. I. I'll get your $50, unless you want to go double or nothing on the penis envy theory?" I would take that bet," I said."I'll think about it. I gotta go. See you tomorrow at noon."I worked at getting ahead again in school reading and then worked on a project for communications that was a month out. I also started work on an accounting project. When 9 PM rolled around, I was tired and hungry so I had two bananas and an apple with peanut butter and went to bed.I was up early and was at Dottie's by 8 AM. She let me in and had eggs and bacon. She also had coffee. I ate the eggs and bacon in the kitchen and then we went out back to drink our coffee. I asked how she was.Dottie said, "I went to see the lawyer yesterday to pick up the agreement. It is like a prenuptial agreement but it is more like a contract for you to perform a service. My child and I'll not have any rights to child support. You also give up custody rights so we can do what we want but the child will be mine."I asked, "But.
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